The relationships we have with our partners can be enriching, fulfilling, and the source of deep comfort. These same relationships also bring unhappiness, disillusionment, and anger. Because our romantic relationships are so important, they tend to affect the way we feel about every other part of our life, so that a relationship that is not going well can colour everything else we do.
You may want to talk about:
- Heated arguments that don’t get anywhere
- Difficulty in talking to each other about things that matter
- The impact of an affair
- Conflicts over money, alcohol or pornography
- Problems in your sex life
- A general sense that the relationship is not working, or may have run its course
Couple therapy gives you the opportunity and the space to start talking about these sorts of difficulties. Without blaming or judging either partner, I will help you to understand the complexities of your relationship, making sense of your concerns within the context of you as a couple and you as two separate individuals. While couples often come to therapy with a focus on resolving their immediate problems, they often find that they leave with a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship.
A word about “couple therapy”. Working with couples requires skills, knowledge and insight that are different from those required for individual therapy. I believe that these can only be gained by in-depth specialist training in couple work. In my practice with couples, I draw on the skills and understanding acquired during my 2-year couple counselling training at Relate and my postgraduate family therapy diploma, as well as the wealth of experience gained from working with couples over the past 12 years.